Black and White and Blue in Between

are you a black and white thinker? i hate to admit but i am. i see things in extremes. it's always or never, yes or no, good or bad. this is a problem i have dealt with throughout my life, and when you think this way, more often than not, it brings along with it the blues. lately i have been tuned in more than ever to my need to change this way of thinking. you might ask why, and you may already know why. black and white thinking in my opinion, is not kind to the Lord. because with this mindset he is either giving or taking away, punishing or blessing, good or bad. i have to fight to see joy, to find grace, to see my sin as not all consuming. which is good, but more often than not i see myself as unworthy instead of saved by grace. it's a hard fight. one i will always have, but i want to fight in a God glorifying way. just this past week i have been struggling earnestly with some sin. even after confessing it and filling my head with grace-filled scripture, i still felt like i was a horrible, sinful person unworthy of the cross. now that is just sinful pride and satan whispering you're not worthy. but it usually takes another person to come along side of me and speak truth over and over again. i'm thanking the Lord for my grace-filled and ever patient husband. i've been reading "how people change" by Timothy Lane and Paul Tripp. i've been thoroughly encouraged by their words namely these: "God calls you to be dissatisfied. You should be discontent, restless, and hungry!...The life of self-examination and joyful disontent should not be confused with a life of paralyzing self-condemnation. God does not call us to self-loathing but to a willingness to examine our lives in light of our hope as new creatures in Christ" (how people change, 2006) ...and i'm clinging to these truths: -God is not surprised by my struggle -The Bible is for people just like you and me -Christ enters into my struggle. He has been there!! -Christ will help. I am confident I am not alone. -Christ pleads my case to the Father. I have an advocate. -I can come to God with confidence. I am beginning to take my black and white and conform it into many more shades of gray to in hopes turn my blues to reds as I look to the blood of Christ as my perfect redeemer. I am praying that one day I will be able to see myself as a flawed person in a broken world with a view of myself as filled with gospel infused hope, where I am not discouraged, but encouraged. what kind of thinker are you?