Marriage, A Mess Worth Making

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Agreed.  Wholeheartedly.

Alex and I attended the marriage retreat this weekend that our church puts on.  This year we had the chance to hear from the well versed, counselor, pastor, writer and teacher...Paul Tripp.  If you haven't heard of him, check out his

He was the reason I wanted to go and believe me, he did not disappoint.  I have the chance to meet with Mary Delk on a monthly basis for discipleship.  We just finished his book, How People Change...a must read.  It's something I hope one day, Alex and I will have the chance to go through together.

So many things Dr. Tripp said this weekend were things we have heard, but let me tell you...we are all in need of hearing them again.  Most poignant, WE are our marriages' biggest problem.  Why?  Because we are sinners.  At the core of our being we are selfish and sinful and full of pride.  Bring this into marriage and well it's messy.  Alex's idiosyncrasies are not reason for me to question the divine goodness and sovereignty of God for creating him that way and vice versa. Nor are they reason to get angry, frustrated or upset.  If I do, it is because my needs, wants and feelings are getting in the way of my need for Jesus.   How freeing.

It reminded me of our pre-marriage counseling, again with the Delk's.  Sitting in the room and having them ask heart wrenching

                "think about the things that annoy you the most about your potential spouse."
                "now imagine that they never get better but instead get increasingly harder to live with"

                "are you okay with this...because you need to be."

Talk about humbling.

Dr. Tripp asked something along the lines of "What did you expect marriage to be?"  Alex and I chuckled because we went into marriage knowing full well that we were in dire need of sanctification and that marriage would be a means to that end.  It was not all about love and happily ever after, though that can be a result.  It was the best way to enter marriage and I am glad that through my spouse my sin is increasingly exposed and that I have a Savior who forgives my every moment of selfishness, pride, and sin.


Stephanie said...

I'm so glad it was a good weekend. You'll have to tell us more about it at Small Group. :)

Anna S. said...

Sounds like you had a good weekend, our friends went to it as well. It's always wonderful to get refreshed in the word and grow closer together as a couple. BTW, we really need to get together soon!

Abigail said...

I was glad to see you there and get to say hello, even if only toward the end.


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