Weeping, What is it?

When I think of weeping, I think of the time my family went camping when I was around 10 and I contracted some kind of nasty bug bite rash thing.  My parents kept telling me if I scratched, they would weep.  I couldn't help it, I had to scratch, and of course weep they did.  It itched for goodness sake!

That is one of my earliest memories of weeping.  As I have grown older and wiser, I now know that weeping is bigger than just bug bites and rashes.  Shortest sentence in the Bible...Jesus wept.  Weeping is to express deep sorrow with tears.  I think in the case of Christ and the Bible, weeping goes one step further.

When Jesus wept, He knew with divine knowledge, that what was happening was the sovereign will of His Father.  Though He was fully man, He was also fully God.  Our weeping does not even come close to the perfection of emotion that Jesus had.

When going through seasons of hardship or sorrow, when your heart hurts and yet you are fully trusting in God's perfect plan, that is weeping.  Isn't it sweet to have a Savior who not only knows how we feel but is going through it with us every step of the way.

Love/Hate with BCBS

Blue Cross Blue Shield...sometimes I like you and sometimes I don't. Kinda like, sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I don't:)

Because we are self-employed, we have to pay for our health insurance completely out of pocket.  When I say we, I mean South Face, but who am I kidding...that's just code for...well us!  We don't deal with co-pays or incredibly good coverage for things you might not think are important, like Infertility.  But on the flip side, after our deductible is met, we have 100% coverage, on almost everything, not bad.  But enough about us, back to the love/hate.

Dealing with insurance over the phone or by message center, has been quite the headache but I think almost all health insurance is that way.  That is what I don't like.

What is it I love?  Our HSA.  Nothing makes me happier than paying our health care bills.  I know...paying bills can be painful...but I love it because we fund our HSA.  I just have one debit card to use, the HSA one.  Never having to worry about how to pay, I'm glad we have the HSA and have funds already there, especially when their are bills to pay...like the pile I'm paying today.

So Blue Cross Blue Shield, although there are things I don't like, thanks for creating an affordable, individual, health care plan with HSA.  That's nice.

Deals upon Deals...

I love a great deal, I mean who doesn't, right?  Whenever I have to run errands, I always have in mind things we might need at our house.  Are we out of socks, do we need new towels...that sort of thing.  I make a mental list and then I go for what we really need and if I find something on the mental list, I get that too.

Here are a few examples from the last week:

Fireplace tools/firewood holder-

While walking through Target to get a frame, these two things caught my eye.  We wanted these things for awhile and didn't want to spend lots of $.  Because who knows if we'll have a fireplace when we decide to buy a house.Even better news, they were 50% off.  Tools and holder for ~$20=a good deal.

Smartwool Socks-

I love Smartwool, they are so cozy and comfy.  I would wear them everyday in the winter if I could.  Problem, they are really pricey.  Well the other day I was at Nordstrom Rack, where they were $8.97.  

Down from $19/pair, this was another good deal.

Running shoes-

  Shoes kill me.  I cannot pay full price for a pair of shoes, ever.  

Running shoes are not cheap, especially the Asics gel brand that I like.  Again, Nordstrom Rack came to the rescue.  I happened to look, found the shoes, and they had a 50% sticker.  $100 shoes for $35.  Yea!

I don't usually buy every good deal, there are a lot of them out there.  But if I can save on things I already had to buy, that makes me happy.  Other great deals I've found in the past include an $80 dress from Banana Republic for $15, jeans for Alex from the Gap for $9.97, and my Keen sandals from REI for $14.  I love a good deal...I guess every once and awhile shopping pays off :)

I also really like checking out thrift stores/outlet malls/Homegoods/TJ Maxx...but those usually require a special trip.

What are your good deals you've found?  

Any special places you like to look?

Happy Valentines Day!

I read this article this morning on thegospelcoaltion.org.  

“Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”   

Ephesians 5:33

God made Adam first and put him in the Garden with a job to do, a mission to fulfill.  In the heart of every fallen man is the self-doubt that wonders, “Am I man enough to climb this mountain God has called me to?  Can I fulfill my destiny?”  A wise wife will understand that question at the center of her husband’s heart.  And she will spend her life answering it, communicating to him in various ways, “Honey, I believe in your call.  I know you can do this, by God’s power.  Go for it.”  In this way, she will breathe life into her man.

God made Eve from Adam, for Adam, to help him follow the call.  In the heart of every fallen woman is the self-doubt that wonders, “Do I please you?  Am I what you wanted?”  A wise husband will understand that question at the center of his wife’s heart.  And he will spend his life answering it, communicating to her in various ways, “Darling, you are the one I need.  I cherish you.  Let me hold you close.”  In this way, he will breathe life into his wife. 

I love my husband.  I would never want to be with anyone else.  Thank you for communicating how much you love me and for breathing life into me.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Introvert/Extrovert...which are you?

For the longest time I longed to be categorized as an extrovert.  But the older I get the more comfortable I get in my own skin.  I'll admit.  I am an introvert.

I know, I know.  There are those of you that have met me and are probably trying to disagree with my statement and there are those of you who absolutely know that what I admitted is the truth.  In fact, every Myers-Briggs I have ever taken has me pegged in the middle, with the pendulum swaying to the introvert side.  I was a very confused kid...lol!

I always wanted to be extroverted.  They seem like the life of the party.  Ever since I got married, I realized why people think I am really an extrovert.  My husband is a TRUE introvert.  He needs a good couple of hours of down time to recuperate from social activity.  I, on the other hand, am the one that always wants to do things and see people.  But I think I have come to realize that it's our days that factor in.  Alex talks all day long.  I, on the other hand, don't talk as much.  So less energy expended means I have more energy to spend with others.

One perfect clue that I am an introvert...without my husband home, I don't really talk or interact with anyone unless I have to.  The more time by myself the better.  I'd even go to a movie by myself and not bat an eye.

Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?  I'm so curious...please share:)
 
A friend posted this great article pertaining to Introverts.  Apparently, WE are in the minority...

Marriage, A Mess Worth Making

Agreed.  Wholeheartedly.

Alex and I attended the marriage retreat this weekend that our church puts on.  This year we had the chance to hear from the well versed, counselor, pastor, writer and teacher...Paul Tripp.  If you haven't heard of him, check out his website...paultrippministries.org

He was the reason I wanted to go and believe me, he did not disappoint.  I have the chance to meet with Mary Delk on a monthly basis for discipleship.  We just finished his book, How People Change...a must read.  It's something I hope one day, Alex and I will have the chance to go through together.

So many things Dr. Tripp said this weekend were things we have heard, but let me tell you...we are all in need of hearing them again.  Most poignant, WE are our marriages' biggest problem.  Why?  Because we are sinners.  At the core of our being we are selfish and sinful and full of pride.  Bring this into marriage and well it's messy.  Alex's idiosyncrasies are not reason for me to question the divine goodness and sovereignty of God for creating him that way and vice versa. Nor are they reason to get angry, frustrated or upset.  If I do, it is because my needs, wants and feelings are getting in the way of my need for Jesus.   How freeing.

It reminded me of our pre-marriage counseling, again with the Delk's.  Sitting in the room and having them ask heart wrenching questions...like~

                "think about the things that annoy you the most about your potential spouse."
  
                "now imagine that they never get better but instead get increasingly harder to live with"

                "are you okay with this...because you need to be."

Talk about humbling.

Dr. Tripp asked something along the lines of "What did you expect marriage to be?"  Alex and I chuckled because we went into marriage knowing full well that we were in dire need of sanctification and that marriage would be a means to that end.  It was not all about love and happily ever after, though that can be a result.  It was the best way to enter marriage and I am glad that through my spouse my sin is increasingly exposed and that I have a Savior who forgives my every moment of selfishness, pride, and sin.

Round 2

PCOS

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is one of the most common female endocrine disorders affecting approximately 5%-10% of women of reproductive age (12-45years old) and is one of the leading causes of infertility.

The principal features are obesity, anovulation (resulting in irregular menstruation), acne, and excessive amounts or effects of androgenic (masculinizing) hormones. The symptoms and severity of the syndrome vary greatly among women. While the causes are unknown, insulin resistance, diabetes, and obesity are all strongly correlated with PCOS.

This is what we are dealing with.  If you read the description above you will notice that I don't really meet the qualifying markers.  I am not overweight by any means, do not have excessive hair, am not insulin resistant, nor do I have any abnormal hormonal issues.  Which puts me in the an even smaller percentage.  I am thin, have cystic ovaries, and do not menstruate on my own.  The usual protocol is to lose weight, eat low carb, go on metformin an insulin drug, and clomid.  Unfortunately I cannot lose weight and I am clomid resistant, meaning I did not respond at all.  So injections are the next step, which most of you already know.  Better than clomid and best of all last round, two little eggs released...which is a huge blessing of it's own:)

Round 2 starts Saturday...wish us luck:)  and Stop us! if we ever set foot to adopt a pet in another country!!