A season of change

“better is the end of a thing than it's beginning” (ecc. 7:8)

“The faithfulness of God is why the perseverance of man (and little girls) is so important.  What you’re seeing now is middles, freeze frames, the crest of the curve and now it’s falling arc, the ball as it looks snapped in mid-air by your Polaroid. 

But “you have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful” (James 5:11)”….We haven’t seen the fallout of this yet, the gentle misting rain of grace.  Of a love and power that more abounds where sin and tragedy abound…so wait on the Lord, little one, wait.  Because of the promises.  Because “the proper time” He will lift you up (1 Peter 5:6).  Because His compassions are new every morning.  Because He is good to those whose hope is in Him (Lam. 3:22).  Wait on the Lord, child, and be still.   Because we haven’t seen all the fallout of this yet.”

                           Excerpt from In Due Time 

“Won’t let you go until you bless me” by Andree Seu

Change is ahead.  I’ve just got to hold tight to the hand that never lets go.  Today is a new day, for this IS the day the Lord has made.  This season, it’s full of change.  It’s full of heartache.  Sorrowful yet always rejoicing.  Make my heart that way.  You are so worth this…all of it.

On the infertility end, many of you know we have made the heart wrenching decision to stop treatment.  I don’t know when or if we will try it again.  I don’t know when or if the Lord will bless us with children of our own.  I don’t know what’s in store.  But I know my heart.  It’s time for a break.  Time to dig deep, fight sin, cast out idols.  It’s funny how something so good to hope for can become sin, so quickly, instantly.  A calling for women, it’s in us.  Most of us at least.  There is a desire, a God given desire, to be married and have children.  It’s God’s good plan.  And yet the waiting season, “is preparing for me an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison”…It’s just incredibly hard to lay down a desire so deep within me at the foot of the cross…but Lord, I trust you, I trust your plan for us, as hard as this is.  I will follow you…for your way is better than life.

On October 15th I will hand over the keys to a house I’ve walked through almost daily.  I will say goodbye to 3 little faces whose eyes I have looked into for the past 8 years.  I will start a new chapter of life.  Saying goodbye to something I thought I wouldn’t do until we had our own little children, it’s hard.  Having to start anew, begin again.  Life is about seasons, hard seasons, joyful seasons, character building seasons.  But one thing I know, every season is from God above.  If this is His plan then it’s good, and I’m going to repeat that daily.

These boys, R, L, and C have filled my heart with joy.  Sure they have also filled it with terror, fear, anger and frustration, but joy and love those abound.  They are a part of me like I am a part of them.

I’ll miss you boys.  This isn’t goodbye, it’s just the turning of a season.